Saturday, October 31, 2015
Lawyers across the U.S. will be going through hard times in the upcoming months - $400, $500, even $600 per hour is just not quite enough. According to supreme justices, poorer people can now pay lawyers with a bag of seafood for what is known as squid-pro-quo
Monday, June 29, 2015
Saturday, June 27, 2015
According to interim Soccer Federation President Jorge Garcia, they're thinking of folding the soccer federation. The current President was not available for comment as he was not feeling well and had a FIFA.
"The Portuguese in Brazil are just not taking football serious enough"said the President.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
Monday, August 11, 2014
- (at a car dealership) We don't make any money selling cars, we make it on servicing them
- Ohhh....wait here....I have to ask my boss if I can give it to you at that price.....
- We are doing market research and want to use YOUR home as a model home to show our work
- We will give you a FREE ALARM SYSTEM, all you have to do is put this sign on your front lawn
- Let me spray this tar on your driveway and it will 'prolong' the life of your driveway
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Gary Bettman, commissioner for the NHL has created a course for young men and women who are aspiring to become hockey announcers. "It's a four step process" said Bettman
- Shave off all your hair, and wear a very obvious toupée
- Wear "coke-bottle" glasses that are at least +3.75 so everyone thinks you have nice 'big' eyes
- Wear a headset - a big old one from the seventies at all times. No matter what.
- Every third sentence, find a way to say "Hollywood Vs. Broadway" - and just keep repeating this.
Courses will begin this fall.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
A college level English class from Harvard was not able to follow a simple story line. Thirty three students from the college were taken to see a Cirque du Soleil performance - and none of them understood it! "There was simply too much jumping around for us to follow it" explained one student.